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Thread: Hugo's jackanory story thread

  1. #286
    Mini Goon
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    Good thinking. It would then be preserved for posterity and will crop up on whatever the equivalent of tumblr is in a quarter of a century's time.

  2. #287
    Moderator Spanky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    Quote Originally Posted by telmernatorx View Post
    Right, towards the end of the time I was being used as a working class sex aid by this dirty middle class horse owning Doris she asked me to go with her as her sort of date to France with her and her family to the retirement do for some posh French relative. It wasn't going to cost me anything and she was a dirty slag so I was all for it. Anyway after getting sticky fingers and a nosh on the ferry I was in a good mood when we landed en francais. The party was the same night we arrived so we got changed at the hotel and headed to a function suit at the old hotel. The party got going after dinner and I got shit faced on little French stubbies and was having a nice time. Earlier in the evening I had needed a piss and went to the toilet block thing outside which being over fifteen years ago and me being an uncultured mong at the time, surprised me by being a unisex toilet. Whatever I went into trap one and had a piss and went back in. Bit later on well arseholed I was outside getting some air and having a smoke, horse bird comes out well pissed and having a second wave of horn after the ferry fun and grabs my arm demanding I fuck her in the toilets. Fine ny me. We go in and into one of the stalls and start gettin it on, she's all gagging for it and knickers pulled down and ready to go when she tells me she has no johnnys (she wasn't on pill) I was like no worries I'll nip out and get some assuming there would be a machine in the toilet block. No machine. So I am thinking thats that, she tells me I am going to have to fuck her up the arse then. The boy scout in me surprisingly didn't have any lube on me, but in a lightbulb moment I remember seeing a liquid soap dispenser by the sink. I nip out the cubial again and grab a glob of make shift lube. after applying the lube to respective areas bum sex happens and everyone involved is having a nice time. After a few minutes I get a stinging in my old chap which gets worse and worse and I start to suspect that the soap my have been considerably stronger than I had thought. it gets to point where I cant take it and tell her I have to stop. now maybe it was the speed I pulled out as I was in desperate need to wash this liquid fire off of my cock or maybe she let out a fart as I pulled out I don't know but not unlike when you get bubble soap round your mouth the anal exhale managed to blow two or three perfect bubbles out of her puckered ringer as I made my escape. on seeing the bubbles I nearly fell out of the cubical in tears of laughter with a stinging boner and my trousers round my ankles where I stood on tip toes trying to get my knob under the tap to was the soap from hell of my cock. was probably the funniest sight I have ever seen, it was like farting in the bath but without the water. anyway if there is anything take from this, I guess its don't use industrial strength hand wash as anal lube unless you want to make some smelly bubbles. I might look her up on facebook now and remind her of it
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  3. #288
    ‹bermensch Smurph's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    I don't suppose any of you were on Old Bond Street tonight.
    You cannot gather your friend to go to sauna - Kiev Citizen.




  4. #289
    ‹bermensch Dagz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    What did you witness?
    Cba with this place anymore.

  5. #290
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    Yeah, come on Smurph...

  6. #291
    ‹bermensch Smurph's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    It was really bizarre - I couldn't stop looking at a pair of shoes the entire time...
    You cannot gather your friend to go to sauna - Kiev Citizen.




  7. #292
    ‹bermensch
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    tease

  8. #293
    ‹bermensch Smurph's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    It was just a very odd evening all around. "It" occurred in an art gallery surrounded by 17th and 18th century European paintings overlooking the Gucci store in Old Bond Street. I saw Nigel Farage on the tube.
    Last edited by Smurph; 1st February 2014 at 01:03 AM.
    You cannot gather your friend to go to sauna - Kiev Citizen.




  9. #294
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    double tease

  10. #295
    ‹bermensch Smurph's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    There's not much more to it. Nothing particularly sordid ensued. But in a moment of sheer candidness I'd just like to say there is nothing quite like getting a blowjob in your own private National Gallery on one of the wealthiest streets in the world whilst drinking rioja and listening to radio 3.
    You cannot gather your friend to go to sauna - Kiev Citizen.




  11. #296
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    Stoked for you, genuinely.


  12. #297
    Ultra King Rimbaud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    so 'balllin

  13. #298
    Ultra King Rimbaud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    does her* brother work for Daniel Katz then?

    was he there?

    *assumption
    Last edited by Rimbaud; 1st February 2014 at 01:46 AM.

  14. #299
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread



    no apologies for the size.

  15. #300
    Goon weed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hugo's jackanory story thread

    Quote Originally Posted by niallc View Post


    no apologies for the size.
    wow that is truly one of the most beautiful jpgs i have ever seen... it is so majestic and life like but also surrealism . do you know who the artist is?????

    wow i cant stop looking at it. i am listening to this song and it is such a beautiful moment




    thanks niall seriously man

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