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Thread: The mental health thread.

  1. #136
    Übermensch bearVSshark's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    It’s the bottleling it up that is the problem though I’d say, quite often more than the actual illness. If everyone was as open in real life as they are in this thread, this thread probably wouldn’t exist as we’d all have sorted stuff out before it became such an issue for us. But instead, for various reasons, we (being predominantly men) keep it all suppressed until we find ourselves crying at work or stood on a bridge or waking up from yet more excessive alcohol consumption.

    There’s four different people in this thread talking about their issues. I have 5/6 good close male friends, and none of us have ever talked about mental health issues with each other in real life.
    poison...poison...TASTY FISH!

  2. #137
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by françois View Post
    Yeah I'm alright, thanks. One thing I've learnt for sure is that keeping this sort of stuff to yourself never takes you really far.
    Truth. I'm absolutely one for bottling things up. I had a pretty stressful time late last year, nothing really bad but just a lot of problem solving in a short period of time and lots of plans falling apart. I ended up with shingles for a couple of weeks and I put it down to that all getting me really physically and mentally run down (that may or may not make any medical sense).

    My dad passed away at the end of April, long story short he had a tiny early tumour in his colon and went in for surgery to get it removed as a precaution, something went wrong somewhere and he never recovered from the surgery and went steadily downhill for the next 2 weeks. It's the first time I've really had to deal with death as a semi adult and with my brain being the way it is I've been dealing with it by not dealing with it. I'm living in the middle of nowhere at the moment and working in a job that doesn't really give me much contact with people who I would really open up to and its definitley very tough. My girlfriend is very good at poking and prodding me to get me to speak up about it and even after a little chat with her it feels slightly easier.

    My point is, its a shit situation, theres no pretending it isn't but there needs to be a little pressure relief valve for you to open or things just spin around in your brain and grow.

    I'm trying to make a bit more of an effort to speak about what goes on in my head, thats my piece of personal therapy at the moment.

  3. #138
    Moderator françois's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by niallc View Post
    My dad passed away at the end of April
    Mine passed away 7 and a half years ago and would have been 65 today.
    I'm not gonna lie, it takes time for some things to get better. You're going to go through ups and downs with this. It's perfectly normal though.

    Quote Originally Posted by niallc View Post
    My point is, its a shit situation, theres no pretending it isn't but there needs to be a little pressure relief valve for you to open or things just spin around in your brain and grow.
    Exactly.

    Quote Originally Posted by niallc View Post
    I'm trying to make a bit more of an effort to speak about what goes on in my head, thats my piece of personal therapy at the moment.
    Same here. I've been working on that more lately and it does work, it really does me and the people around me good.

    Good luck mate! Take care.
    "There are people in skateboarding whose views and backgrounds differ from mine, but I appreciate that they’re a part of it because that’s what keeps skating so diverse and not just some homogenized bullshit. More opinions, more girls, more homosexuality, more global representation." Ryan Lay

  4. #139
    Ultra King voodoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Learning to say no to some people and being able to know that you can come first is a big part of feeling healthy mentally for me, not in a nasty way. Other peoples stress is not yours, I'm talking about people that wouldn't give a shit about you but expect you too. Bad relationships, friends, family, work, ect... no is a very strong word. 'No' seems like a negative word but I see it as a positive one when you need to use it, if you don't want too do something or have other plans that you want to go to but someone is trying to make you feel bad for it. It gives you the power back, you're doing nothing wrong, if you ever feel bullied and forced in to doing things and being around anything you don't want too, because the people trying to make you do it, whatever it is, they'll do it, with or without you anyway. They'll just find someone else instead. Like I said don't let other peoples stress be yours, as they wouldn't look out for you but always look out for the people that are true to you and the people that would look out for you wouldn't cause you stress and would see if you're down. Fuck the idiots.

    We are too nice to people that are draining and selfish at times, when we could just be hanging with nice people instead. Only takes one bad apple (dickhead) to fuck someone up and you are all surrounded by an Orchard.
    Last edited by voodoo; 8th July 2018 at 10:52 PM.

  5. #140
    Moderator françois's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Absofuckinglutely.

    Learning to say no is actually the other big thing I'm working on at the moment.
    "There are people in skateboarding whose views and backgrounds differ from mine, but I appreciate that they’re a part of it because that’s what keeps skating so diverse and not just some homogenized bullshit. More opinions, more girls, more homosexuality, more global representation." Ryan Lay

  6. #141
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Conway Twitty's BMX View Post
    Stiff upper lip works for me. Haven’t encountered a problem or emotion that can’t be bottled up and beaten.
    Glad this works for you but it's about as helpful as a kick in the ballbags for people with real issues

  7. #142
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by jagger View Post
    Glad this works for you but it's about as helpful as a kick in the ballbags for people with real issues
    Pretty sure that they were being sarcastic with that post.

  8. #143
    Übermensch jono9981's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    I found my therapist by googling local therapists and ring round them for a chat. I went with the one that seemed like the person I would get on with and feel most comfortable with. Talking to someone is definitely important. It's easy to feel like your burdening people with your miserable chat, but in reality talking and being open or seeking some support takes the weight off everyone and shares it around. If I'm ever feeling shit and I don't talk about it my wife always notices and pulls me up, because I'm being a dick at home without realising.

    Simplification really works for me too. When I'm feeling rough I get tempted to fill my life with distraction, and that makes me less effective at everything because my attention is spread too thinly. Delete that app that's taking up your time, or whatever it might be. Unless its Pokemon Go, because going for a walk and catching a fucking Jigglypuff is very therapeutic...

  9. #144
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by krillmonger View Post
    Pretty sure that they were being sarcastic with that post.
    Really- did you spot some context? I didn't. Will get my coat etc

  10. #145
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Nah mate, it was just the tone of the way he wrote it that made me think that he/she can't be serious. Not having a go at you, I was just saying that I think they were just taking the piss, as how could you be serious with that post?

  11. #146
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by krillmonger View Post
    Nah mate, it was just the tone of the way he wrote it that made me think that he/she can't be serious. Not having a go at you, I was just saying that I think they were just taking the piss, as how could you be serious with that post?
    Yeah, fuck knows man

  12. #147
    Übermensch jono9981's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    A good GP once said to me, during an appointment about mental health, "If you're not winning, you're losing".

    Really struck a chord with me.

  13. #148
    Ultra King voodoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    A GP once told me that I looked far to stressed to stop smoking so wouldn’t help me and that I should go eat a McDonalds every day as I looked far to skinny.

  14. #149

    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    BUMP

    thanks again to everyone who posted stuff in here after my essay of sad, or DM'd. a lot of the advice really helped make the last month a little more bearable. anon pls thank your anon friend especially, some serious good and appreciated advice in there

    UPDATE: unfortunately overall not much has changed. i'm back at work full-time after starting doing half days and increasing by an hour every week or other week. they've been pretty supportive for the most part, but the actual job is unsurprisingly as miserable as it has always been. i still haven't got the confidence to apply elsewhere and have been losing my goddamn mind trying to get a live music show together anyway so need to accept that moving jobs has just gotta be on hold for the time being. and as much as i hate my commute it could be, and has been, so much worse

    one of the main shitters atm is money. work have told me that somehow, someway, they overpaid me sick pay and that once i'm back on full-time salary i will have to pay this back. now i'm obviously going to question it because i was paid close to fuck all, and they're asking for two grand. i know full well how arbitrary the numbers in this gaff can be so i don't trust how they calculated this but eugh. i feel trapped enough by my overdraft, loan repayments and other money woes so this was a bit of a kick in the face. like even if i had the motivation to seek out a better life i realistically just can't. i also can't afford therapy any more so back on that year-long NHS waiting list woohoo

    on the plus side i've been a ~little~ more social since moving out of the house i shared with my ex-partner. on the neg side i'm also drinking essentially a bottle of wine most evenings to achieve this, or to achieve that elusive Not Feeling Like Shit at home. this has helped knocked the sleeping pills on the head completely which is great - but obviously i feel like total arse most mornings and it's just not a way i want to live

    skating is unfortunately pretty much done for me atm. last year i fucked my ankle one night and it's felt a bit wobbly ever since. i went skating once or twice down crystal palace park and had a good time but it rolled badly after the most pathetic bit of pressure that i feel too shook to do anything in case it happens again

    anyway i hope to post something much happier in here soon. safe again everyone for being so safe. hope to see a lot of you IRL soon
    reverb on the naan. come test

  15. #150
    Moderator Spanky's Avatar
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    Default Re: The mental health thread.

    Stay strong meth. The drinking isn't going to help your mental or financial situation and I know it's easy for me to say 'just knock it on the head' but at least make some small (tiny) changes every day. Leave one finger's worth at the end of the day and chuck it in the morning. And eventually those changes will add up.
    Get down with your bad self
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