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Thread: Jokes

  1. #31
    ▄bermensch
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    Whats pink and hard

    a pig with a flick knife

  2. #32
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    heard a good one tonight.

    whats the difference between michael jackson and neil armstrong?

    neil armstrong walked on the moon. michael jackson just fucks kids.

  3. #33
    Ultra King neddington12's Avatar
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    I swear Joe said bums kids.

  4. #34
    Ultra King wayoutskates's Avatar
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    what do you call the useless piece of flesh around the vagina?


    ... a woman
    Trust me I'm a stomach

    Quote Originally Posted by skateharrogate View Post
    He is amazing, but aesthetically that hair is not pleasing to me.

  5. #35
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    have you heard the joke about the Wall

    *no*

    nah dont worry, you'll never get over it.



    have you heard the joke about the Jam

    *no*

    you'll only spread it



    have you heard the joke about incest

    *no*

    nevermind, keep it in the family




    have you heard the joke about the peadophile

    *no*

    nvm, Its for kids


    those jokes = the best

  6. #36

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    How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?

    The hotdogs taste like shit

  7. #37
    Ultra King wayoutskates's Avatar
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    hahahaha
    Trust me I'm a stomach

    Quote Originally Posted by skateharrogate View Post
    He is amazing, but aesthetically that hair is not pleasing to me.

  8. #38
    Mini Goon
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    A man is walking in the desert, days go b, hes slowly dying, exhausted, dehydrated and very dazed he comes across what appears to be a small town in the distance, looks like a market ison. He screams with ahppiness and proceeds to try and run towards the most probabale mirage. He finally gets there and approaches the first stand he sees, 'Please, water, water' He exclaims, 'No water here my friend, just good pudding!' Replys the market keeper. The man dismayed, carries on to the next stall. 'Water, water please' He bellows, The shopkeeper looks up, 'No water here, just custard'. The man continues to run on to the next stall and then the next and the next, all the stalls in the town only sell trifles or custard or other kinds of pudding. The man gives up and desides to venture ourt back into the desert for his probabale death. On the way out he sees another wondering man, he talks to him. 'Dont you find it weird how that whole town has only pudding and no liquid or anything of the sort?' The other man stares at him and says, 'why yes, it is a trifle bazarre'






















    (bazarre means market for those who dont know'
    ' that boys got some snaps!, Eat some chicken'

  9. #39
    Ultra King Load's Avatar
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    Bazaar.

  10. #40
    Mini Goon
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    good one cheers.
    ' that boys got some snaps!, Eat some chicken'

  11. #41
    Goon
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    what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a plasma screen tv ??



    i haven't got a plasma screen tv in my room !

  12. #42
    Ultra King wayoutskates's Avatar
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    dead baby jokes are laaaaaaaaame




    Two guys were sitting in a bar. The first guy turns to the second
    and asks: "What do you do?" The second guy answers "I'm a Professor
    and I teach critical thinking.
    The first guy asks: "What's that?" The second guy answers I teach
    how to analyze from different conceptual angles, turn problems inside-
    out, how to make "valid" inferences from given data, how to establish
    and test "facts", how to make valid deductions and not commit logical
    fallacies etc". The first guy says: "Well how does it work?"
    The seond guy asks the first guy "Do you have a dog?" The first guy
    says "yes" and the seond guy asks "What kind?" and the first guy
    answers "A thoroughbred champion golden retriever". The second guy
    says "since you have a golden retriever which is an outside dog and
    since it is an expensive thoroughbred, you must have a backyard and a
    fence so the dog doesn't run away." The first guy says "You're
    right". The second guy then says "since you have a backyard and a
    fence you must have a house" and the first guy says "right again".
    The second guy then says "since you have a house you are probably
    married" and the first guy says "right again" and then the second guy
    says "since you are married, you are probably a heterosexual." The
    first guys says "you are right on everything and you can figure all of
    that out just from the kind of dog I have?"
    The bartender was listening and says to both of them "what are you
    guys talking about" and the first guy says "this guy is a professor
    and he teaches critical thinking." The bartender says "what's that?"
    and the first guy, who wants to show off his newly-acquired
    "knowledge" says "he looks at problems inside-out, he figures things
    out from basic facts." So the bartender says "how does it work?" and
    the first guy, still trying to show off, says "Do you have a dog?"
    The bartender says "No". So the first guy stares at him and says
    "Homo!".
    Trust me I'm a stomach

    Quote Originally Posted by skateharrogate View Post
    He is amazing, but aesthetically that hair is not pleasing to me.

  13. #43

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    A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
    "Hi, is Tony home?"
    "No, he went to the store."
    "Well, you mind if I wait?"
    "No, come in."
    They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a fifty bucks if I could just see just one of them."
    Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - fifty bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws fifty bucks on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another fifty bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
    Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another fifty bucks on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They look so dam good......What about if I give you a couple of hundread for a tit wank?
    Nora thinks long and hard and decides that it's not really intercorse so it can't count as cheating so why not.........
    After Chris has had his fun he thanks her, gives her another two hundread bucks, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
    A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."
    Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 300 bucks he owes me?"

  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by toddtwist
    A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
    "Hi, is Tony home?"
    "No, he went to the store."
    "Well, you mind if I wait?"
    "No, come in."
    They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a fifty bucks if I could just see just one of them."
    Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - fifty bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws fifty bucks on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another fifty bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
    Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another fifty bucks on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They look so dam good......What about if I give you a couple of hundread for a tit wank?
    Nora thinks long and hard and decides that it's not really intercorse so it can't count as cheating so why not.........
    After Chris has had his fun he thanks her, gives her another two hundread bucks, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
    A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."
    Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 300 bucks he owes me?"
    There was a skit of that on TV but I forgot what program, was alot funnier on TV that it sounded here.

  15. #45
    ▄bermensch
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    be a while but i heard a few good uns recently

    A wee girls runs into teacher saying please, I need a glass of Cider cause I've got a thorn in my hand
    Teacher says for what do you need Cider for
    Wee girls says, well I heard my big sister saying "everytime she gets a prick in her hand she can't wait to get it in Cider

    boom boom

    Women looks in mirror whilst her husband is sat behind her
    "I look horrible fat and ugly, pay me a compliment" she says
    Her husband replies "Your eyesight is fucking spot on"
    Don't worry - its nothing a drink can't fix

    www.legacyskatestore.co.uk

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